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pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk

Paste it in the left window!
Pick German as the ‘from’ language!
Press the little speaker ‘Listen’-button below the left window!
Have fun

IN TWENTY EASY STEPS (Author unknown, at least by me)

Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.

With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.

Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat’s mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.

Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.

Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn’t know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can’t come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).

Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.

Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.

Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

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I started in the 80′s with am Apple 2e.
I still have my “Classic” from 1989
Did Steve Jobs changed anything in my (Computer)Life?

• I have a personal home computer
• With a graphics user interface built for the consumer market.
• I use a mouse for my PC and select/open with single or double clicks.
• When I buy music, I no longer buy CDs.
• I have a multi-touch smart phone with no need for a stylus.
• That is a very powerful wireless computer that fits in my pocket.
• I own a very powerful tablet computer that costs less than $800.
• with a battery life of more than 10 hours
• that runs on a consumer-friendly version of Unix.
• I am able to carry my entire music library with me
• on a device that is smaller than a deck of cards.
• I own tech products where engineers adapt the product to the consumer instead of expecting the consumer to adapt to the product.
• I own a “clamshell” laptop where the screen folds down to become a top cover over the keyboard.

Bye bye Steve… and thanks!

Your car is German.
Your vodka is Russian.
Your pizza is Italian.
Your kebab is Turkish.
Your democracy is Greek.
Your coffee is Brazilian.
Your movies are American.
Your tea is Tamil.
Your shirt is Indian or Chinese.
Your oil is Saudi Arabian.
Your electronics are Japanese or Korean.
Your numbers are Arabic and your letters are Latin.
Your chocolat is ghanaian and your music is from…?

And you complain that your neighbour is an immigrant?

Pull yourself together!

A tourist from the Midwest walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco . While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat.

It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, “How much for the bronze rat?” “Ahhh, you have chosen wisely!

It is $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story,” said the wise old Chinaman. The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. “I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story”, he said.

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.

A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.

Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward the Bay. After a couple more blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the THOUSANDS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay. Amazingly, the thousands of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat, and were all drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown . “Ahhh,” said the owner, “You have come back for story, yes?

“Hell No!,” said the man, “I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat!”

Überlegt es euch bevor ihr etwas aus der Speisekarte bestellt, kocht oder Einkaufen geht…
Lange geht das nicht mehr gut!

Das Landgericht Frankfurt hat Magnus Gäfgen 3.000 Euro Entschädigung zugesprochen.
Die Summe stehe Gäfgen zu, weil ein Polizist seine Menschenwürde bei einem Verhör im Jahr 2002 verletzt hätte.
Magnus Gäfgen hatte 2002 den damals elfjährigen Sohn eines Bankiers entführt und getötet. Ein Vernehmungsbeamter hatte Gäfgen während des Verhörs die Verabreichung eines “Wahrheitsserums” und “unvorstellbare Schmerzen” angedroht, um den Aufenthaltsort des Jungen zu erfahren. Die Leiche des Kindes war wenig später aus einem Tümpel geborgen worden, nachdem Gäfgen das Versteck im Verhör verraten hatte.

In welcher Welt leben wir?
Wer denkt an das Opfer und seine Familie?
Warum bekommen die Gefangenen in Guantanamo keine Entschädigungen?
Justitia ist nicht nur blind, sie hat auch Wahrnehmungsstörungen und leidet schwer unter Gefühlsdefiziten.
Keine Aussicht auf Heilung!
Im Namen des Volkes…???????????????????????